The Shallow End.

I'm under the impression that my mother still thinks I'm 11. What gives me reason to think this? Well, whenever my parents went out of town, they would always come back with a present. All through my childhood I can always remember when they would go out of town and come back with something for us ("us" meaning myself and my siblings). We, or at least I, would look forward to this. The benefit of my parents leaving was that we would get something small when they returned. The presents were never big, but small and exciting for a kid. We would all gather around, close our eyes, and let the gifts sit in our hands until we were given the cue of "Okay, you can open your eyes now." I can remember necklaces, beanie babies (because those were the coolest things. EVER.), a tea set, a shirt... Small things that only cost a dollar but were better than huge Christmas gifts because we didn't receive these gifts because of a holiday but purely because our parents loved us enough to think of us. A gift without reason.

This past weekend Mom went out of town to teach at a conference while I was at Catawba impressing the socks off of the Tech professors. Sunday morning, while I was still sleeping, Mom knocked on the door at 7am and said, "I have a surprise for you." This is code for, "Okay, you can open your eyes now." I unfold a napkin and what lay inside was a giant chocolate chip cookie. At 7am my mom had no qualms with giving me a cookie for breakfast. She got the cookie for free at the conference because it was left over. Does that make it not quite as special? No. She gave me the biggest cookie out of all the others that she brought home.

I called
because
I just
Need to feel you on the line
Don’t hang up this time
And I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you'd fought me ‘til Your dying day
Don’t let me get away

I love coffee. This morning, after my math class, I went to Starbucks. I get an iced grande white mocha iced coffee. Monday mornings I look kind of gross because I don't see the need to shower for a math class. I mean, I would rather sleep an extra 15 minutes on Mondays and get clean after class.

Wow. I just made myself sound disgusting.

At this Starbucks there is a waxy, tattooed fellow. Today he spoke to me. Maybe I sound pathetic-- actually, I sound really pathetic-- but I do not care. It is impossible to find semi-waxy guys with tattoos who have a small piece of manners and shower at least once a week. To be honest, I'm not really sure if he is good looking because I'm distracted by his sleeve. Anyway, the point of my pondering is that I'm wondering if I should start showering on Mondays. Is the I-just-rolled-out-of-bed Carmen better than the I-look-clean-and-pretty Carmen?

Screw Clean-Carmen. I get an extra 15 minutes of sleep if I look gross.


Carmen.