The other night I was driving home with my dad. I had just gotten off from work and I was exhausted. It's not busy at all so I'm just cruising and I come to that crazy curve on Idlewild and right when I'm about to cross the bridge a raccoon is about to waltz in front of the vehicle (if you just pictured a dancing raccoon, you have just received 10 bonus points). I'm mentally freaking out, praying to God that the raccoon turns back and thankfully it did and I didn't run it over. I'm running through the events that had just played out and... was that raccoon wearing a red scarf? Guys, I'm not crazy but I could've sworn I saw a red scarf on that raccoon. What's even worse is that it seemed perfectly natural for it to be wearing a scarf. It didn't even dawn on me that that wasn't normal until several minutes later when I ask myself "why wasn't it wearing a matching hat?".
I've been mentally preparing myself for when I start to overload and break down from finals. Finals start on Tuesday and I still haven't received the huge "Oh my gosh I'm going to fail and become a homeless bum and I'll be so poor that I can't buy gum and it'll rain all the time and make my cardboard house deteriorate" thing. Alright, on Friday I went through the whole day of school and I'm ending my school day with geology. I'm sitting on the end of the first row (as I have done since the second week of classes) and I'm listening to my teacher gab about coke and fossil fuels (don't be surprised, this topic isn't so far fetched as most of her topics). "And this is a...? Normal fault." And then it hits me. All the freaking out that was supposed to have hit had finally struck and I'm mentally sweating. All I'm thinking is: What is she talking about? I don't know what she's talking about. I have an exam to take and I don't know what she's talking about. I'm failing this class. I'm failing all my classes. I have a paper due. I have a ten page paper due. I have a math test to fail. I have two math tests to fail. What is she talking about?! I have to pass this class and I don't know what she's talking about! [this is the part where my life flashes before my eyes] What if I don't pass this class?! Why didn't I work harder throughout the semester?! I am the bane of my existence! [this is where I crumple into a pile of sweat, tears and groans] I'm failing at life... *blubber, weep* ...why didn't I try harder...? *moan, tear* ...I hate this... *tears, blubber* and then I carry on with this and stop when all my makeup has attractively traveled from my face to the floor. Then I get anxiety-- and I mean massive anxiety-- until I get through all of my exams. All of this is happening as I listen to a lecture on natural gases getting trapped by shale. The anxiety isn't that bad right now-- but it'll set in when I start realizing that I should've done more.
It is 1:22am and I have to wake up in 7 hours. So, happy exam-anxiety to all and to all a good blubbering.
--Carmen
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