Depression Caused By Lack Of Sleep. Enter At Own Risk.

It's amazing to me how one small, tiny, stupid thing can send your life spiraling into the toilet. My emotions are the symbolic crap in the toilet of life. It makes me feel so dumb. Not just dumb, but childish. And this hit me on the way home from work tonight and I wanted to cry. Put on some Miles Davis and just sob. This situation isn't a big deal, don't worry, no one died-- but it's the small things that make me angry. I just feel dumb and stupid. And what makes me even more angry is that I don't like to cry. I find this pointless-- which makes me feel even more dumb because I seriously wanted to tonight. Sometimes I feel like poop.

I'm not one to share personal things out on this world wide blog but I get into fits of loneliness. I don't like it. Recently I've been told stories of "I just told God, 'it's all Yours' and then He gave me [fill in persons name here]." Why can't I have that? He knows all my thoughts and concerns but where's my [fill in persons name here]? I just don't know what to do. I went to an event recently-- and no lie-- everyone my age or older was with someone. Wow, I'm sounding desperate (I promise I'm not); I've just been happily single for so long I would like to be happily something-other-than-single.

I saw him die
he's never looked this way
I saw in his eyes
he's never coming down
Saosin

Food for thought: Shakespeare is amazing. I feel sorry for those out there without the chance to experience this. Pure genius. I love reading his works. I find myself praying to God for a chance to be half as clever as Shakespeare in my entire life than he was in one line. Just brilliance. Talking about this lifted my mood by twenty points. Amazing.


"I have a high respect for anyone going into the arts." P.G.
--Carmen